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"This book is a memorial to Gili. It is a book that will make many of us cry with the hurt and suffering we experience as we read these pages. At the same time, you will find a triumph in the joys and memories of a young life and a mother’s love….You will also come to reflect differently on our psychological theories of death and dying. The holistic meaning of the experience of loss is elegantly presented here in a manner that adds considerably to our psychological knowledge. "
–From the Foreword by Allen E. Ivey, University of Massachusetts, Amherst
"Gili’s Book is, in fact, two books in one. First, the story of Gili’s life and death. Second, the story of Henya’s survival of that death. In the second book, we share Henya’s bereavement and her struggle to develop a suitable theory or model to describe her bereavement and that of other bereaved parents. . . . To achieve the goals of Part Two of Gili’s Book, Henya must become more the teacher and less the survivor baring her soul to the reader. To her credit, Henya manages to do both."
–Aksel Sarid, Ph.D
"As a fellow bereaved mother and psychologist, I know the authenticity of the path through grief that Henya Kagan (Klein) describes. She is one of the few to challenge the traditional conceptualizations about the linear nature of grief. . . . This is a book that every therapist working with bereaved parents must read and one that will help grieving parents recognize the normalcy of their experience."
–Barbara J. Paul, Ph.D.
"As a bereaved mother and leader for "The Compassionate Friends," I can say with authority, sadly, that there is little help for me in general grief literature and counseling. After experiencing this book, I am deeply moved and encouraged….Do not miss meeting Henya and Gili. Your life will be changed forever, for the better."
–Connie Brandt, The Compassionate Friends, Spring, Texas
"A must read for any professional who wants to work with bereaved parents….This book provides a vivid picture of how parents construct a relationship with their child who died, and of how this relationship provides them with comfort and solace, while recognizing that there is no recovery or closure."
–Phyllis R. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Child Bereavement Study
This book is the personal and heartbreaking testimonial of a mother and psychologist who experienced the untimely death of her 11-year-old daughter, Gili, by a reckless driver. Unsparing in its honesty, it is written as an ongoing dialogue between the bereaved mother and her deceased daughter. Intertwined with Gili’s writings and artwork, Gili’s life and death unfold in tears and in laughter. Eventually, the mother steps aside and the trained counselor takes over, making observations and drawing conclusions about the process of bereavement. We witness something very important in Gili’s Book as the author both describes her personal experience as a bereaved parent and presents a new theoretical model of parental bereavement.
Henya Kagan (Klein) is a former professor at the University of Georgia at Athens and at the University of Houston-Clear Lake. She is a seasoned psychologist specializing in loss, grief, and adjustment with her own private practice.
